"In vacant or in pensive mood..." I am: Bekah; 24; Law Student / Favorite Things: Carbs (so there!), Johnny Damon, Smiling at babies, Grilled cheese, Comfortable silence / Favorite Supreme Court Justice: Brennan / Favorite Wilson: Owen by an inch / Today's Special: Song: Elliott Smith, "Bled White"; Quote: "You know, there's like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bowstaff." Please love me: mmbekah@yahoo.com


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Something More

My law school's little tagline (or is it a motto?) is "Something More." It definitely took a bunch of lawyers to think that one up. Not "More Exciting" or "More Prestigious," but "Something More." Nice and ambiguous, just the way lawyers like it. It's so ambiguous in fact, one might even venture to say that it's ultimately meaningless. When I was narrowing down my overwhelmingly large pool of possible schools to attend, that "Something More" really stuck out. Back then, I interpreted it as "We'll Pay You a Hell of a Lot More," and that was good enough for me. After spending almost a year here, I now know the real reason for the ambiguity: My law school offers so much "more" of so many things, they just wanted to cover all of the bases. For example: gay men. Here's one valid intepretation of that elusive "Something More" that could have been brought to my attention prior to enrollment. Naturally, the obligatory "not that there's anything wrong with that" goes without saying. But the truth is that there is something wrong with it, namely that there is not a decent straight man to be found on this godforsaken campus. Another valid interpretation would be more exposed flesh. Now, I know my Dad reads this page, so I apologize in advance for this description, Daddy. Today in Spinning I was accosted by a girl on the bike in front of me wearing spandex pants (down low) with a gold thong (up high). If there's one thing in life that I'm sure of, it's that when I signed up for "Something More" I wasn't banking on more ass cheeks in my face, thank you very much. My fellow law students will recall that when statutes are ambiguous, courts look to the legislative intent to figure out how to interpret the unclear phrases. In the interest of future students, I propose that we do some research, find out what the hell the school administrators were talking about, and clarify things immediately before "Something" causes irreparable harm to anyone else. Now I'm going to go sit in a corner and rock back and forth until that traumatic image is erased from my memory.
posted by Bekah at 7:29 PM :: |