"In vacant or in pensive mood..." I am: Bekah; 24; Law Student / Favorite Things: Carbs (so there!), Johnny Damon, Smiling at babies, Grilled cheese, Comfortable silence / Favorite Supreme Court Justice: Brennan / Favorite Wilson: Owen by an inch / Today's Special: Song: Elliott Smith, "Bled White"; Quote: "You know, there's like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bowstaff." Please love me: mmbekah@yahoo.com


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Errata

I think the one of the worst feelings ever is the realization that something you've been carelessly doing has actually been hurting someone you love. Basically, the problem is that I talk too much without thinking about how people might interpret what I'm saying. So, now I have to do my best to print some sort of retraction--or at least an explanation.

When I write or talk about never wanting to work in a big firm, or about hating to wear suits, or about refusing to do on-campus interviews, all I am doing is justifying my personal choices. I do it because feel like I need to explain to myself and anyone who cares why I want to make different plans. So I make sarcastic comments about New York law firms being hell in order to justify my decision not to work in one. None of these comments is meant to judge anyone else's choices about how to spend their lives. There are so many factors that go into a person's job choice; one factor that I don't have to deal with may be the thing that really steers someone else. And as I've tried to explain before, it would hardly make sense for me to go to law school and make friends with a bunch of soon-to-be lawyers if I thought that they would all become satan as soon as they walked through the doors of a law firm.

A few of my close friends already have incredible jobs for this coming summer. These girls are amazing and brilliant people, and I am so proud of all of their accomplishments. I am impressed with my friends and with others I go to school with on a daily basis. And though I might make thoughtless comments, I really do respect what they are doing. When it comes down to it, the things I say really stem from my own insecurities. They do not mean that I am not thrilled for my friends and the pay-off that has come from all of their dedication and hard work. Now that I think about it, they're probably my way of trying to justify my own feelings of mediocrity. So, I did this little psychological self-exam in order to explain my actions, but what I really need to say is: I am so, so sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings by either saying too much (in the way of sarcasm) or not saying enough (in the way of congratulations).

On a lighter note, Sade's "By Your Side" is on in Starbucks right now, and it is f'n good.

posted by Bekah at 10:01 AM :: |