"In vacant or in pensive mood..." I am: Bekah; 24; Law Student / Favorite Things: Carbs (so there!), Johnny Damon, Smiling at babies, Grilled cheese, Comfortable silence / Favorite Supreme Court Justice: Brennan / Favorite Wilson: Owen by an inch / Today's Special: Song: Elliott Smith, "Bled White"; Quote: "You know, there's like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bowstaff." Please love me: mmbekah@yahoo.com


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Feeling Rotten

Once something is spoiled, can it ever be fixed? I know that when milk spoils you have to throw it away, but what about spoiled people? Can they ever be rehabilitated? Yes, I will be the first to admit that I am dreadfully spoiled. But hopefully the fact that I recognize this is some sort of indication that I’m not all bad…just partially decomposed. Is there still time for me to amputate the really spoiled parts of me and start over fresh? Or am I past the expiration date?

I am one of the luckiest people in the world. I have never been denied anything by my parents. I’ve been given every opportunity imaginable for education and travel and recreation. I’m not talking about weekend jaunts to the south of France or season tickets to the games of all of my favorite sports teams, but I’m talking about all of the basics and a bunch of extras too. I’ve been able to grow up in total comfort, and now I’m able to do the unthinkable: to go to law school without worrying about having to pay off insuperable loans.

When my parents got married right after college, they had to work for years just to be able to enjoy the standard of living that I enjoy right now as a lowly student who has never held a real job for a day in her sorry, pathetic, spoiled life. They ate cabbage soup for weeks on end, while living in married student housing. And I have the audacity to spend the money they give me to go out to eat and drink with my friends like I haven't a care in the world.

I know that parents work during their lives so that their kids can have it better than they had it, but I’m starting to feel very disappointed with myself for taking advantage of that. I am not going to go on a cabbage soup diet or anything, but I am definitely going to make some changes. I need to stop acting like a four year old, and start acting like someone who may one day need to be able to handle being an adult.

Note: Isn’t it incredible that lots of times when your parents are mad at you about something it doesn’t really faze you, but as soon as they’re disappointed in you, you want to crawl into a hole? The dreaded “We’re very disappointed in you” is like a knife in the heart!

posted by Bekah at 10:46 AM :: |