"In vacant or in pensive mood..." I am: Bekah; 24; Law Student / Favorite Things: Carbs (so there!), Johnny Damon, Smiling at babies, Grilled cheese, Comfortable silence / Favorite Supreme Court Justice: Brennan / Favorite Wilson: Owen by an inch / Today's Special: Song: Elliott Smith, "Bled White"; Quote: "You know, there's like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bowstaff." Please love me: mmbekah@yahoo.com


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A Penis and a Third Degree Burn...I'm Not Generally Superstitious, But that Combo Can't Be Good

Halloween. A time of tricks. A time of treats. And, yes, a time for crude renditions of penises by drunken undergrad vandals/man-apes. When I walked outside on Halloween morning, I was confronted by a large white line-drawing of a penis spanning the two windows on the driver's side of my car. In the interest of accuracy, I can assure you that your greatest fears are confirmed: there were testicles involved as well. Thankfully, after a good scraping job with a razor, only a few indicia of the dreaded phallis remain. But I am most certainly scarred for life. My one consolation was being able to tell my mom the news, who then proceeded to relay everything to my sister: "Oh dear. Oh my goodness. There is a drawing of a penis on Bekah's car." Glorious.

So the whole penis thing was kind of a downer. One might even speculate that the experience was the low point of my day. Unfortunately, however, things only got worse from there. After all of the scraping and scrubbing associated with the earlier fiasco, I went to Whole Foods to obtain a salad, some soup, and a brief respite from the trauma of the day. You see, there is an incredible salad bar at Whole Foods, as well as a selection of delicious soups. In the interest of sanitation, there is a sneeze guard located above the seemingly innocuous vats of soup (which are actually boiling cauldrons bubbling with wrath and evil intention, but more on that in a moment). In addition to the sneeze guard, there are long soup ladles with which consumers are supposed to serve themselves. Unfortunately for me and an untold number of others, the sneeze guard is very low, and the ladle is very long. If you have a good imagination, you can probably get a feel for the awkward situation resulting from such a setup. In my zeal to procure some yam and ginger soup, I failed to take account of the lowness of the guard or the longness of the ladle, and instead dumped a steaming, boiling, clump of yamminess onto my innocent hand. The burning was indescribable, and the pain, combined with the mingling smells of yam and burning flesh made me feel a bit faint. I will not force more sordid details on you; suffice it to say that the skin on the middle and pointer fingers of my left hand is, how should I put this delicately...nonexistant. Not to worry: I have been dressing my wounds with gauze and neosporin, and my hand now looks only moderately repulsive as opposed to grotesquely disfigured, which is a definite improvement. A few people (law students, obviously) suggested that I at least write a letter to Whole Foods in complaint. And honestly, I do think the way they have that soup station set up is a liability. But I'm not out for blood. My wounds will heal soon enough. And besides, the soup was really tasty.

posted by Bekah at 10:54 AM :: |