"In vacant or in pensive mood..." I am: Bekah; 24; Law Student / Favorite Things: Carbs (so there!), Johnny Damon, Smiling at babies, Grilled cheese, Comfortable silence / Favorite Supreme Court Justice: Brennan / Favorite Wilson: Owen by an inch / Today's Special: Song: Elliott Smith, "Bled White"; Quote: "You know, there's like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bowstaff." Please love me: mmbekah@yahoo.com


February 2003 March 2003 April 2003 May 2003 June 2003 July 2003 August 2003 September 2003 October 2003 November 2003 December 2003 January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 September 2005

 
It's All Happening

J has this theory that there is a vast conspiracy against him, perpetuated by anyone and everyone who enters his life. I usually try to allay these psychotic worries to the best of my ability, reminding him that I, for one, am not plotting against him. Unfortunately, I periodically do something to indicate that I am actually the ringleader of the evil scheme to destroy his life. Yesterday is the perfect example. It started out fine (if "fine" can involve law school classes), but by lunch time the day was spiraling out of control:

1. We were planning to study, but I needed the internet to get an outline that one of my friends sent me. So we had to drive all the way to school, at which point I realized that I'd deleted the email. So then we had to sit around school--which he hates--to wait for a response to my request that the outline be re-sent. The response never came.

2. After hours of sitting at school, we went to dinner. Except we had Mediterranean food, which, as you might have guessed, J hates (but sometimes eats "for me.") Not to mention the fact that he is sick and can't eat anything anyway.

3. Upon arriving home from dinner, J noticed a distinct shit-like odor in the car. I light-heartedly assured him that no, this was not the conspiracy at work--there was no shit stink. But alas, upon arriving home, I looked down and observed a nice piece of shit partially attached to my shoe and partially attached to the floorboard of his car. My invocation of Adam Sandler's classic "It's poop again!" only seemed to make matters worse, as did my desperately trite plea that "shit happens."

4. We had planned on studying at a coffeehouse after dinner. Except every coffeehouse we attempted to enter was completely and totally full. There was no room at the Inn. At this point, I was maniacally laughing at our misfortune, while J was taking a small amount of pleasure in all of the evidence he had been able to compile that day re: the vast conspiracy.

5. Finally, all of yesterday's events must be evaluated in the context of the following lamentable realities: 1) J's roommate is moving out because of me, 2) I have contributed, at least marginally and probably extensively, to the slow dismantling of his entire group of friends, 3) I am on Law Review (which is slightly threatening to his manhood) and periodically spend time in the "evil lair" of the law review office, 4) I sometimes get presents for people other than him, 5) I listen to Belle and Sebastian (a habit that is offensive to his "elitist" musical sensibilities, largely, I think, because Jack Black ripped on the band in High Fidelity), and, most importantly, 6) I make pseudo-anonymous fun of him on the internet.

I think he might be right about the conspiracy after all.

posted by Bekah at 1:00 PM :: |