"In vacant or in pensive mood..." I am: Bekah; 24; Law Student / Favorite Things: Carbs (so there!), Johnny Damon, Smiling at babies, Grilled cheese, Comfortable silence / Favorite Supreme Court Justice: Brennan / Favorite Wilson: Owen by an inch / Today's Special: Song: Elliott Smith, "Bled White"; Quote: "You know, there's like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bowstaff." Please love me: mmbekah@yahoo.com


February 2003 March 2003 April 2003 May 2003 June 2003 July 2003 August 2003 September 2003 October 2003 November 2003 December 2003 January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 September 2005

 
Rearranging Deck Chairs on the Titanic

A few days ago at the student center, I made an unexpected connection. I am exactly like the lady in charge of the salad bar.

During exams, law students start feeling helpless and angry. We feel like no matter what we do, it will never be enough. All of the hours spent outlining, reading, talking, debating, and praying ultimately come down to a group of ridiculous fact patterns that we have to flail around in, hoping to find some way to either 1) show what we know, or 2) hide the fact that we know nothing. We build ourselves up to get knocked down.

The salad bar lady is the same way. She is in charge of keeping the salad bar presentable. She spends her day arranging the cucumbers in an aesthetically pleasing manner, retrieving wayward chick peas, and wiping up the globs of Ranch dressing that thoughtless students drip all over the place. It is this woman's job to do these things. And yet, I can't help but think of her as a modern day Sisyphus, constantly pushing that tomato back up the hill. I used to get angry and stressed out when I witnessed her performing these tasks, because under this woman's watchful eye, I felt extremely pressured not to drop a carrot shaving. I felt pressured because I didn't want to make her life harder, and I didn't want to seem like some thoughtless undergrad who was just throwing vegetables around at will with no regard for the person who had to clean it up.

But now, rather than feeling pressured, I just empathize with the salad bar lady. Because really, she and I are exactly the same. We're both striving blindly for perfection that just cannot be. And it is sad.

posted by Bekah at 9:32 AM :: |