"In vacant or in pensive mood..." I am: Bekah; 24; Law Student / Favorite Things: Carbs (so there!), Johnny Damon, Smiling at babies, Grilled cheese, Comfortable silence / Favorite Supreme Court Justice: Brennan / Favorite Wilson: Owen by an inch / Today's Special: Song: Elliott Smith, "Bled White"; Quote: "You know, there's like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bowstaff." Please love me: mmbekah@yahoo.com


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Don't Make Me Disconnect Your Face

I consider myself to be a fairly unassuming, inoffensive person. When I go to a coffeehouse to study, I sit there quietly with my computer and my books. I do not listen to headphones with the volume so high that the entire place hears my music. I do not cough persistently or chew loudly. I do not scream inappropriate sentiments into my cell phone (I heard a woman yesterday screaming, "Oh my God, Don will never sleep with me if you're in the house! You can't come over tonight!"). But despite all of these virtues, I have managed to offend an old man in a tweed jacket so much that he made three distinct complaints to the employees of this coffeehouse. What was my crime? What was the horror of horrors that my duplicitous mind concocted? I, evil wench that I am, had the audacity to extend my computer cord a few feet away from the wall, since all of the wall tables were taken. This dastardly deed was just too much for tweed jacket man to take. He grumbled about me for a good 15 minutes, always making sure that the grumbling was within my hearing, but never directing it to me. The poor employee who had to come over and tell me about the complaint had a look in his eye that said, "This man is crazy. He's here all the time, and he makes my life hell. I don't care about the goddamn cord, but please just appease him in any way you can." I pulled the plug.

I then took the cord and proceeded to strangle tweed jacket man until his pitiful, sputtering cries for help assured me that he would never again use his unrelenting anger at the world to make innocent coffeehouse patrons and employees suffer.

posted by Bekah at 11:56 AM :: |