"In vacant or in pensive mood..." I am: Bekah; 24; Law Student / Favorite Things: Carbs (so there!), Johnny Damon, Smiling at babies, Grilled cheese, Comfortable silence / Favorite Supreme Court Justice: Brennan / Favorite Wilson: Owen by an inch / Today's Special: Song: Elliott Smith, "Bled White"; Quote: "You know, there's like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bowstaff." Please love me: mmbekah@yahoo.com


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An English Major in Law School

To my great displeasure, writing this Comment is proving to be much harder than writing my college thesis. Senior year, I wrote my thesis on Thomas Hardy. I always liked Hardy, and I thought it would be interesting to sit down with three of his novels and write about some theme or other (I ultimately chose “Victimization”). I did struggle with my argument at first because it’s hard to find something new in literary criticism, especially when your author is a canonical dead white guy. But there was one special ingredient that made that thesis possible: Bullshit. It is a well known fact that the ability to bullshit is vital in writing a thesis. Despite the term’s negative connotations, I would venture to say that bullshitting is even more valuable than making actual sense. You see, to bullshit, you must be creative and enterprising. You must be able to mold the unsuspecting text to your will. If you are a skilled bullshitter, you can perform a “close reading” of any passage of a novel or stanza of a poem and make it mean anything you want. A swordfight means sex. The sword is obviously a phallus, and the light reflecting off of it represents the blinding experience of falling in love. The snapping of quails’ necks represents empathy with all of the suffering of the universe. A pig’s bladder represents the stark contrast between the visceral, rustic lifestyle and the life of the ephemeral scholar. The name "Boldwood" is indicative of a stuffy and stiff "wooden" personality. Whatever.

Writing a Comment is different because bullshitting is so much harder. This is not to say that it’s not possible to bullshit in a legal setting, but there’s that pesky thing called precedent that really makes it hard to head into right field. Everything has to be so annoyingly practical. And these legal scholars are so freaking pathetic—if you think you have a new idea, it only takes a few minutes on Westlaw to realize that someone at the University of Akron is an expert in the field and has written three treatises that make your exact point, only in much greater detail. I just feel like legal writing gives the student so much less to go on. My bullshitting ability is wasting away. If I could just write about dying sheep or the loss of a young country girl’s virginity I might be able to get somewhere...

posted by Bekah at 3:16 PM :: |