"In vacant or in pensive mood..." I am: Bekah; 24; Law Student / Favorite Things: Carbs (so there!), Johnny Damon, Smiling at babies, Grilled cheese, Comfortable silence / Favorite Supreme Court Justice: Brennan / Favorite Wilson: Owen by an inch / Today's Special: Song: Elliott Smith, "Bled White"; Quote: "You know, there's like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bowstaff." Please love me: mmbekah@yahoo.com


February 2003 March 2003 April 2003 May 2003 June 2003 July 2003 August 2003 September 2003 October 2003 November 2003 December 2003 January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 September 2005

 
Memo #4

To: Law Professors
From: The 2L Community
Re: Friendly Advice

Dear Law Professors:

Greetings! It has been a while since last we corresponded, and, to be honest, I've been feeling a little guilty about the terseness of my prior communications. Let me begin by saying that I owe you an apology for those early memoranda; when I told you to stop making asinine jokes on exams ("Exams aren't funny. Chances are neither are you."), I was simply unable to see the big picture. I was too caught up in the stress of 1L year to see that many of you take pride in making exam hypos based on original topics like "Ben and Jen's unmarried cohabitant property distribution (complete with a determination of the fate of the pink engagement ring)" or "confidentiality issues surrounding insane kidnapper who buries girl in desert and then attempts to convert his lawyer to Christianity through scripture-infused ransom notes." I can see now that law professors have to get their kicks somehow, and I can't fault you for trying to do that at the expense of tired, pissy, sleep-deprived law students--especially 1Ls. They are so fun to torture, aren't they? I try to trip them in the hall whenever I get the chance.

But as long as I'm being honest, I just have to level with you: Anything you attempt to teach during the last week and a half of the semester is virtually impossible for students to take seriously. All we want to do at this point is to come up with some semblance of an understanding of your course as a whole. No. No, strike that. I'll be even more frank. All we want to do is figure out how to do well on your exam. We have no interest in starting a new unit; we have no interest in careful reading or understanding of new topics; and we certainly have no interest in attempting to read ahead when we know that your ridiculously optimistic projections about syllabus coverage will inevitably fall short.

I'll be blunt: A week and a half before exams, just stop trying to teach us anything. Any knowledge you attempt to impart to us will bounce off our ears like contestants bouncing off the walls on Spike TV's Extreme Elimination Challenge (best show ever). There is simply no more room in the brains of law students at this point in the semester. And even if that wasn't the case--even if we did have endless amounts of empty brain space in which to store your last, flailing efforts to cover every inch of the subject matter--the plain fact of the matter is that we just don't care anymore. We don't care that imparting knowledge is your life. We don't care that you spend day and night curled up with the Federal Rules of Evidence writing love letters to the Advisory Committee. We. Don't. Care. We love you--you are good people--but we don't care. Sorry. You're pretty.

Pleasant exam writing,

The 2L Community

posted by Bekah at 8:22 PM :: |