"In vacant or in pensive mood..." I am: Bekah; 24; Law Student / Favorite Things: Carbs (so there!), Johnny Damon, Smiling at babies, Grilled cheese, Comfortable silence / Favorite Supreme Court Justice: Brennan / Favorite Wilson: Owen by an inch / Today's Special: Song: Elliott Smith, "Bled White"; Quote: "You know, there's like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bowstaff." Please love me: mmbekah@yahoo.com


February 2003 March 2003 April 2003 May 2003 June 2003 July 2003 August 2003 September 2003 October 2003 November 2003 December 2003 January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 September 2005

 
Some Self-Indulgent Self-Pity (even though I realize things could be much worse, and that people who are being ravaged by hurricanes and various other atrocities will probably want to kill me for my unjustified whining, but I'm a law student and I'm allowed to have a little bit of exaggerated self pity because I am emotionally abused by my professors and I don't have a job and the first and only letter I've gotten acknowledging receipt of my clerkship application was addressed "Dear Mr. Nowack")

This weekend has been interesting. Not interesting like the safe word you would use to describe a remotely compelling article you read in the paper or US Weekly. That kind of blandly interesting weekend would have been welcomed with open arms. No, this weekend has been interesting like the word you would use as a kindergarten teacher to describe little Tommy's crude rendition of the decapitated bodies of all of his classmates buried under his front porch. Oh, how interesting Tommy. Do you happen know your Mommy or Daddy's office number?

It started out on Friday morning with a really exciting heat rash that made a grand appearance on my hands and arms and caused those body parts to feel itchy and tingly and awful until a very nice and pretty young doctor gave me a shot of cortisone in my "hip" (why do doctors always say "hip" when they're giving you a shot in the ass?) and some lovely and not too smelly prescription cream. J had a lot of fun taking advantage of my insecurity in that leprous state. I had this rash that I thought was totally disgusting, and the shot that was supposed to make me better initially made me jittery and paranoid and even more worried about looking like a freak. To make matters worse, I haven't been able to run for three days because of the possibility of aggravating the rash, so I am feeling very unfulfilled and lazy, not to mention the fact that my Jewish grandmother of a conscience is very very disappointed in me.

Then on Saturday we had some people over to watch football and grill. Things started out ok until the fridge stopped being cold. We made a frantic trip to the gas station to get bags of ice for the bath tub so we could save our precious Miller Lite and Icehouse, and upon completion of that task the fridge started working again. Then, just for kicks, the AC gave out. People noticed that it was "getting a little warm" in the house just as Michigan started getting completely killed by Notre Dame. By the third quarter, emotions were high and the temperature in the apartment was a cozy 95 degrees. We were sweaty and pissed off: we had an unbelievably pathetic Michigan loss and about 5,000 pounds of extra meat that no one felt like eating. And my hands were itching again. So we had to spend the night at our friends' apartment. On our way back home this morning to get books for today's coffeehouse expedition, I saw a homeless man pushing a shopping cart. And then I felt even shittier for thinking that being put out of my apartment for 2 days was the end of the world.

It's funny, but I think I'm writing so vehemently about all of this mostly because I've been neglecting my blog lately. When I actually think about everything rationally, I know that I'm not even that annoyed or upset. I'm just too tired and resigned to care about heat rashes and broken air conditioners that much. I really just want to go for a run, so hopefully I'll be able to do that this afternoon. And then take a nice cold shower.


posted by Bekah at 11:56 AM :: |