"In vacant or in pensive mood..." I am: Bekah; 24; Law Student / Favorite Things: Carbs (so there!), Johnny Damon, Smiling at babies, Grilled cheese, Comfortable silence / Favorite Supreme Court Justice: Brennan / Favorite Wilson: Owen by an inch / Today's Special: Song: Elliott Smith, "Bled White"; Quote: "You know, there's like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bowstaff." Please love me: mmbekah@yahoo.com

 
Blahg

I'm sorry, I've been overwhelmed by blog apathy lately. Even typing these pathetic sentences is a little bit draining right now. I hope to recover in several days, at which time I plan to start updating regularly again. Any words of encouragement at this time are most appreciated. Think of me as Tinkerbell: I need people to believe in me, or I'm going to slip out of existence...

But wait--ok, fine, I do have one thing I want to write. This is going to be a struggle, but I want to tell this story. I feel so conflicted. Like an athlete who is totally burnt out and wants a rest, but can't stop cranking out those last 15 bench presses just by force of habit. Damn you, blogger. Damn you.

Anyway, I was shopping for Christmas/Hanukah/Birthday gifts with J today and we went into some overpriced store with all kinds of weird stuff in it, like an alarmingly tacky sterling silver bank thing that said "Viagra Fund." Anyway, on the way out (which followed closely on the heels of "on the way in,") we saw a statue of a monkey holding a bowl of balls. Just a monkey, holding some balls. It was so pointless that its very existence offended me. J turned to me, throwing up his hands, and said, "A monkey holding balls. I guess I just don't get it." I wish I could convey the tone with which he uttered those words. It was so defeated, so hurt, so utterly helpless--as if he thought that people who would buy statues of a ball-holding monkeys for their foyers are somehow in the know. And that may be. But in this context, I think we're both perfectly happy in our ignorance.

posted by Bekah at 5:27 PM :: |

 
Post Mortem Musings

There is one word that sums up 2L year: anticlimactic. For starters, the whole "first year is the worst, it gets much better/easier/more bearable" thing isn't all it's cracked up to be. I will admit that I was happier this year, but I think that was just due to my personal decision to take classes that didn't make me crazy. Most of my friends thought this year was just as bad, if not worse than last. But the main thing is that it's just not the same when you and your friends don't have identical exam schedules. Last year, everyone was done on the same day, so exams went out with a huge, drunken bang. It was so cathartic to go out with everyone and be able to release all of our tension at once.

This year, all of my exams were scheduled early, so I was done on Monday. Most of my friends, however, won't be done until Friday. Therefore, I can't be really excited to be done (because I'll look like a total ass for rubbing it in), so I end up feeling bad about being done. I dropped by to see some friends at a coffeehouse yesterday and happened to mention that I was going to Target and to the mall to do all of the things I hadn't been able to do for a month (like get toilet paper). Everyone looked up from their books with the most pathetic expressions on their faces, as if Target was some magical land--the most exciting destination that their brains could fathom. And then they clenched their teeth and said, "go on, have fun." And you know what, I really SHOULD be having fun, because I'm DONE with HALF of lawschool, which is a pretty big thing. So...hooray for me. Hooray for school. Now everybody hurry up and finish because I'm very lonely.

posted by Bekah at 11:57 AM :: |